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I was born to a small family, and I was the
youngest of 3 children and lived a modest
life in a family oriented suburban neighborhood.
Early on in my life it was obvious I was
different. I didn't want to be a princess
for Halloween… I wanted to be the ugliest
witch. Snow White was bore… I liked her Stepmother!
I chopped off Barbie's hair and had her start
a Rock band. I loved to paint things… like
swear words all over my mother's tablecloth.
I read Stephen King books in Junior high.
I watched and fell in love with A Clockwork
Orange at 13. My mother, bless her soul,
encouraged me to develop my own personality
as she did with my siblings too.
My parent separated under bad
circumstances
and life became financially a
lot harder
when I 13. I consider this to
be a time where
I totally had teenage rage...
and I started
to express it in art class, by
dying my hair
fire engine red, and by spending
time listening
to music. Music is an emotional
experience
for me, and whatever emotion
I am feeling
came on my stereo. When I slammed
my bedroom
door shut and put my brothers
Sex Pistols
album on… my mother knew I was
pissed off
about something. My mother was
so open minded
she allowed me to express things
like rage,
anger, jealousy and other negative
emotions.
I truly believe that it has helped
to keep
me from being repressed and I
learned how
to accept myself as a whole,
rather than
a one dimensional person.
I have an above average IQ. I
have a college
degree. I have my own social
circle. I never
craved an ordinary life. I am
not into the
mainstream lifestyle, and in
my opinion,
it's a very phony one. But I
don't judge
other people for what makes them
happy. I
do, however, hate fakeness.
I can be extremely gentle… which may be hard
to believe but it's true. I'm
an animal lover
but not a vegetarian. I'm not
a fascist.
I'm not a poser faking a cool
personality
or persona. I've been told by
more than one
previous lover that I have a
"girl next
door quality" or that I
am "ladylike"
LOL. Basically I know how to
clean up and
behave in different settings.
I know how
to have a conversation about
almost anything,
and my opinions are strong. I
am a very "principle"
based person.
I believe we all have different layers to
who we are. I believe we are
almost always
playing a "role" in
life to someone
else, and in various situations.
I do think
I understand my "layers"
more than
most people do. It doesn't make
me better
than them… it just makes me lucky
to know
myself so well.
I am against violence technically speaking.
Some of my musical and movie
interests make
that seem ironic….. but it's
true. For me,
music and film are ART and the
sole purpose
of art is to invoke emotion,
not necessarily
action. I'm not into drugs, though
I do like
to drink and get wasted every
now and then.
I believe in rebellion. I think some rules
are meant to be questioned and
broken. I
know how to ask the right questions
too.
I think about the meaning of
life just like
everyone else… but pleasure seeking
is also
essential to survive.
I have been a stripper for about 3 years
now, and in stripper years....
that's a long
time. Like many other before
me, I have begun
to limit my hours and decided
to do some
phone sex calls as a supplement
to my income.
Stripping itself is fun… but
like any other
job it has it's politics, and
it got tiring.
I tend to get a long better with
guys than
girls and I had many problems
with other
dancers over the years. To put
it simply…
I don't blend in well lol.
I first worked at a phone sex service and
it was cool. But it was hard
for me to play
the barely legal blonde perky
chick since
it's not who I am. Most services
want to
box you in to a niche in the
industry and
I didn't really fit one. So I
took my "do
it yourself" punk attitude
and did it
myself…. Where I can have the
freedom to
be me.
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